Don’t buy a watch when you’re drunk. That is the whole core of Felix Scholz’s humorous guide for Time+Tide Watches, published 20 August 2016, and it is the advice this article builds on. Scholz wrote it as a joke, but the three steps underneath it, preparing in advance, setting limits, and thinking through likely regret, are a sensible framework for any impulsive watch purchase, whether you have had a drink or not.
Why the original advice is a joke with a serious point
The article opens with a caution and keeps a comic tone throughout. It does not present intoxicated shopping as sound financial advice, and it is not a tested method for safer buying. Read it as a set of exaggerated warnings that point at a real problem: a purchase that feels reasonable after a few drinks often does not look reasonable the next morning.
The three steps in the original article
Step 1: Be prepared
The article jokes about asking boutique staff to refuse a sale unless the buyer can name Rolex model references, a deliberately absurd safeguard. The more practical idea behind the joke is for online shoppers: build a watch list ahead of time, containing only watches you genuinely want. If you do buy on impulse, the purchase is more likely to come from that shortlist than from whatever happens to be on screen at 1 a.m.
A shortlist works because it turns a vague wish into a set of specific models you have already considered while sober. Browsing without one means every listing is a new decision.
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Step 2: Know your limits
Scholz describes how a planned purchase can seem easier to justify after drinking, and he warns, in exaggerated terms, against stretching spending beyond what makes sense. The lesson is to decide your budget before you open a shopping tab. A limit set in advance is a fixed number. A limit set after two drinks is a suggestion that is easy to revise upward.
Step 3: Anticipate regret
The third step lists the regrets a buyer might face: a watch that does not suit the wrist, or worry about its condition and price. The article’s joking conclusion is that a bad purchase might eventually become a story or be resold. Ask yourself these questions before you buy:
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- Would this size and style work on my wrist, and have I checked the dimensions rather than the photos?
- Can I verify the condition and the price against other sellers?
- If I want to sell it later, what would it realistically return?
- Would I still want it after a night’s sleep?
The watches the article names
The article uses a Tudor Pelagos as an example of a purchase that could seem justifiable after a few drinks. It also mentions Greubel-Forsey and Breitling. These are illustrations in a 2016 humorous piece. They are not current recommendations, comparisons, or verified listings, and the article gives no current prices, specifications, or stock information for any of them. If you are considering one of these models today, check the manufacturer’s current catalogue and an authorised dealer for present-day details.
What the article says in its own words
Scholz’s closing caution is the most useful single line in the piece:
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“We’re pretty sure this doesn’t need to be said, but let’s say it anyway. Don’t buy a watch when you’re drunk.”
The article contains no sourced statistics, and its numbers are jokes rather than data, so they should not be quoted as facts.
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Scope of this guide
This article reflects the 2016 source and general purchasing logic. It does not establish current watch prices, availability, or how any retailer handles returns, and those change over time. Verify those details at the point of purchase.
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Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on Amazon at the time of purchase will apply.
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